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Today was the last day of my grandpa's funeral.
He was sent to his new home somewhere in heaven, where he will enjoy all the gifts that we sent to him. The image of his coffin passing through the cermation machine was never forgetten in my mind. It was one of the things I wished that it'll never had to be this way.
Through this funeral, I understand things like culture, traditions, and of course, family value. I also knew of something that I didn't know the past 18 years of my life. It's something valuable, not that I don't want to share it, but it's going to stay within me, and the people I trust.
Sad that I am, but I'm also very very happy. I am happy that my grandpa departed happily, and happy that I have gone through a big part of the ceromony. Through the hours and minutes that I spent at the cermony, I understood another big part of life.
Things that has been done can no longer be undone, just like what was said could never been taken back. IF WE given thoughts before we did anything, we could never regret. But, IF you didn't do it, how would we know if you will regret it? Things go in a circle, ends always meets.
For all bad that I have done before, all the nasty things that I said and have done on and off the basketball court, all is to be labelled as the 'past'. I have compressed it all in a small bottle and is kept within me. I have opened up another bottle for the 'present', and I'm going to fill it up with experience, happiness and forgiveness. If again I was to throw my tantrum, DRUM ME.
Last but not least. Grandpa, Bon Voyage. Rest In Peace.
Wednesday, September 15, 2004
Yesterday night before I fell asleep, I asked myself what and where was I before I was born, and where and what will I be when I leave? Will I be born again with another memory? Will I know that I was once alive? Any questions where left unanswered as I dreamt on.
It was afternoon when I woke up and I had to go to school. Two hours and I'm done.
Then it was home. I knew I had to go to my grandpa's funeral. And I went.
I could not remember how my grandpa looked like, and I have never gone to a funeral on a kin. It was like going to a foreign place, meeting a foreign man. When I stepped in the place, I first greeted the relatives I knew, then I had to change into a white tee, and had to clip something to the left of my shirt. My one was special as they told me, it signified that I was the eldest and I was to make major decisions next time. I totally had no idea.
Then I went in to see my grandpa for the last time. There he lied in the coffin, so peacefully. Then I was introduced to many of relatives that I saw for the first time. So many, so unfarmiliar.
Alone I sat over at a corner, as an observant, I saw faces that I knew I was going to see only in this part of my life and never again. I knew some were just here to show their faces, and leave, just to show good impression. A lonely man I sat, asking myself questions one after another. Do relatives only gather in these kinds of occasions? Is relative just a tag to make us bond together? If a relative did something wrong, it's far worse then a stranger that commited a crime. If a relative was someone you didn't know, what difference does it make? On some tables, there was alot of laughthers and smiles, I don't know and didn't want to know who they are, but I was asking myself, was there a need to be so happy at a funeral. Although it's not an event of all tears and cries, but did they rememeber the feelings of the siblings that were there?
Was I too sensitive ~ Then after I occupied myself with mahjong on my handphone, and I won the computer over like, TOTALLY! I learnt the names and terms of playing proper mahjong already, so I won't be so blur next time~
Still I didn't forget the position I was in. Tml I was to go again. But I had to teach tution, so I told my mom I wasn't going. But I knew tution could be pushed away, but this things are kind of once in a man's life. Something in my heart pulled me back. Was it the atmosphere? Was it the travelling ling time?
Some questions are to be left unanswered.
Tuesday, September 14, 2004
Today was IS again and it was fun in school. I would have to thank Miss Anna for always coming up with such interactive games and I do see her effort in teaching. She motivates me to want to a great tutor for my student as well.
For 'WISP', World Issues Singapore's Prespective, we played Gobal-poly. It's Monopoly modifed in to suit the topic of gobalisation. Soon Yong and gang came over from another class to play the game together and we were in the game group and we battled it all out on the board! My token was green and the areas that we bought were green and it helped us alot in the start as we were the first who started to produce garments! To produce garments, you have to build certain numbers of factories in the specific country and it's like buying your hotels in Monopoly. We started strong, but Soon Yong who has stepped on any fines possible on the map started to gobalise faster! He eventually won and we were second in our group, but losing out to the rest of the class.
Then BusCom was always the same old stern Mdm Diana. Nothing much to talk about and so it was home then after. Supposed to go to my grandpa's funeral, but I didn't because no one was at home, and I slept before everyone was back. Then when I woke up, it was time to teach tution already.
Today I gave my student a mock exam and he flanked terribly! I marked the paper and he's only got 4 MCQs correct and earning him 10% of the overall paper. He could get the concepts mixed up in ways I could not understand. He's English is not weak, but is it the way he picks up numbers? It's still for me to find out.
Tml's supposed to play basketball, but still it's unsure as I might have to attend my grandpa's funeral. Shall see how.
Monday, September 13, 2004
If I was a task for me to write down the events that passed me each day, today would be one of the longest.
After a long night of FT till wee hours on the night, I slept till 9am this morning. Well, my lesson was supposed to start at nine, but that's not the main thing cause I woke up at 6.30am, too tired and told my mom actually the class starts at 10 today because the lecturer was absent.
After a while, I was woken up by my dad, who told me my grandpa has passed away. The whole thing passed me till I woke up at nine, and I was thinking that I don't even know my grandpa's face. I don't even know how he looked liked, I don't recall seeing him before. But I still needed to go to school, and so I did.
Meanwhile on the bus trip, I was thinking about the value of life to a human being. It can be so weak, yet it can be just as strong as you want it to be. One day you may look fine, on the other you may not be the man you had been. We should treasure our life day by day, shouldn't we? You need not bring smiles to others just like others need not bring it to you. Sometimes, tears are vital parts of our lifes. It portrays the inner soul of one self, however determined you are, big strong looking you are, the heart stays weak. We all shed tears don't we.
wELL, still the bus stopped at school and I was running late for my lab, and then it was three hours of break again. After meeting Xuan Feng and Zx for lunch, I decided to go to Clementi to take a stroll.
Actually wanted to buy alot of things, but I controlled because I still need to get Ling her new HP this friday. It was something I promised her, and I need to learn to save already. Still I bought a F.I.R CD, because I can no longer stand not listening to Faye's angelic voice. Wo Men De AI ~~ i~~ i~~~
Anyways, the two hour was more then enough, I actually had no where to go after the first hour mark. THen I decided to wait for the bus at 2.25. I reached the school bus stop at 2.32. AND THAT MEANT I STILL HAD HALF AND HOUR OF BREAK!!
And so I went to get my 'Strawberry Melody', a wonderful smoothie at Splash, atrium.
$3.30, but it's a must try!
Then it was off to class and Zx came over and had a few jokes about the lecturer but i have decided to skip that for this blog, else it's gonna be long. HAHAH~
Then it was off to play bball, and Eddie,Zx and I took a cab to CC and there wasn't much people there. But soon the crowd came and we had hell of fun! Terrence, Zx, Eddie and I wore the same jeresey that we bought yesterday and it was very comfy.
The nature of DRI.FIT makes it very comfy already, you don't sweat much when you play bball. And Zx, Terrence, Joel and I combined for the longest winning streak in BpCC to come! We won and won and won and won...................................... Terrence was a real force under the basket, he's sleek and long, he reminds me of KG, full of potential.
Then of course, soon it gets tiring........ And it's off to home where I was doing my report and Jia Wei came over to copy songs into his mp3 player. We talked about the CSC players and those who didn't make it kind of stuffs. I told him everyone had a chance so long he's willing to prove he can strive for it. Still, we won't want to see people getting sour just because he wasn't chosen.
Well, I think I need rest now. If not this blog's going to turn from English to Singlish soon..........
Sunday, September 12, 2004
Today was a day of relaxation for me! Played mahjhong till 3.30am and I lost four bucks. Initally I lost big, but I managed to pull back with a 'man tai', something I just picked up from Zx. I saw that they didn't really just want to finish the set with the original tiles they get, they would tend to change the tiles and make it bigger. And I tried and got it. Nice step to improvement?
Then we went to KSL and happened to meet Eddie and Ronald there, and so we chatted till the morning before going back home. Then we planned where to go after we woke up.
We went town after we woke up. First stop was to get our Mesh Cap. Terrence customized his, and it was very nice!! Then we went to get our's to be customized too. Although mine was far from his, but still I like it. I'm into the Ngee Ann Mesh Cap Bunch already! Don't ever think of a pink polo tee in my cupboard yet!
NEVER!!
This is my cap!
We also went to NAC to do some shopping and we happened to see that 'Stadium' was having sale. And the oringial bunch who got the Mesh Cap now had matching jerseys as well! Gay Bunch!
This was what we got, a Nike reversible Red/White @ 25!
Particularly, I liked the logo on the red side...
We have planned to wear our Mesh Cap and the white side of our jerseys to play ball. Any takers??